Naughty Santa

Click the picture to view full-sizeI wonder if Mrs. Claus knows that Santa's been spending his nights prancing around in sequins with fallen reindeer from the wrong side of the sleigh? Does she know that Santa's sleigh does double-duty as a pimp mobile in the off-season? Is it my twisted imagination, or is the reindeer floozy on the right checking out Santa's sequin-wrapped holiday package?

Who knew Santa had a dark side which included drag queen tendencies and an abnormal attraction to animals? Are the elves safe from Santa's deviant desires, or are they also pawns in Santa's polar porn empire? Enquiring mind wants to know. 

Beware of Reindeers Bearing Gifts

Click the picture to view full-sizeQuite frankly, I haven't a clue what these are! I'm guessing that they're reindeer, but for all I know, they could be anorexic cows!

Aside from the sprig of holly here and there, the red bow ties on the boy "rein-cow things", and what appear to be gifts, I'm not even sure what they have to do with the holidays. I'm not sure what scares me more - that someone out there thought these were a good idea to make and sell, or that there's someone out there who will actually buy these fugly things for their home!

There's a reason stuff like this ends up in stores like Home Goods - no one wants it! 

Baby Jesus in a Snowglobe

Click the picture to view full-size

Why does this make me think of "The Boy in the Plastic Bubble"?

Maybe it's the expression on Baby Jesus' face:

Click the picture to view full-size  

U-G-L-Y You Ain't Got No Alibi!

Click the picture to view full-size
It's Santa's cheerleading squad!

Love the hair bows! Can they still do splits without any legs? Frankly, I don't think the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders have anything to worry about.

Like the previous entries, this is one of the many holiday decor items available at Home Goods that they don't show on their TV commercials. I wonder why?

Holy Holiday Nutshells, Batman!

Click the picture to view full-size
It's the Pope!

According to the inscription on the base, this is a Pope Benedict nutcracker*. I don't know about you, but I'd feel a bit uneasy using the Pope to crack my nuts. But, I suppose it could come in handy for those who need to vent their frustrations with the Catholic Church.

*(Popemobile sold separately.)

Desperate Housewives: The North Pole Edition

Click the picture to view full-size
Looks like the North Pole isn't the only pole these reindeer wives are familiar with! All they're missing are clear platform heels. I wonder what kind of reindeer games they play while Santa and the boys are out delivering toys...

Now That Thanksgiving's Over

It's time for CHRISTMAS!!! What better way to count down the number of shopping days left until Christmas than with a series of bizarre, tasteless and/or tacky holiday items?

At 29 shopping days left until Christmas, we have "Jesus, Mary and Joseph Do Las Vegas"

Click the picture to view full-size
Also known as "The Holy Family Meets Liberace". LOVE the sequins!